Season 6 script
by Fuzzbucket1
Summary: You've heard the rumor about season 6 someone will die. Again! Who will it be? Here's a possible script for season 6! by me!


Death of a Disco Dancer: Death of a Degrassi Doofus

Sean Cameron, Emma PETA-Nelson, Manny Santos and the new, sassy 16 year old teen mom, Shondrella, cruise up to Degrassi's front steps in Emma's Toyota Hybrid.

Meanwhile, Craig strums on his guitar a few feet away, surrounded by swooning young girls. He's playing that song that he wrote for Ashley three years ago, because that was his only hit. His recording gig in Vancouver fell through, so now he travels around schools in Toronto and performs his hit song. He has gained 30 pounds and developed a rather annoying cocaine addiction.

Hazel's body was frozen in some time capsule in Arkansas. She admitted that she's actually from the year 2200, a time when being devoid of a personality and acting ability is incredibly common. She hopes to be unfrozen in 2200 and continue her studies at Emma PETA-Nelson high school, (which is named after a prominent political figure from the 21st century..YES, EMMA! WOOO!)

Toby, JT and Liberty recently had a threesome. They have kept this a secret, but aren't aware that Peter Stone was videotaping the sex act from behind a pile of Toby's anime porno magazines in the corner of his room.

Ms. Hatzilakos still looks way older than she is.

THEME SONG TIME

-Marco, Paige and Alex are shown watching Degrassi from afar, clutching onto old yearbooks and weeping  
Whatever It Takes   
Whatever it takes (kids choir)  
I know I can make it through (kids choir)  
-Liberty is shown staring at a picture of her child, weeping

ah huh yeah(woman)  
if i hold out (kids choir)  
if i do (woman)  
I know I can make it through (kids)  
-Toby stands in front of a bush in camouflage, barely visible, while Jimmy sits in front of the bush, clutching onto his wheelchair and weeping 

ooooohhhh (woman)  
be the best (kids choir)  
the best that i can be (woman)  
hear what i say to you (woman)  
Jay is shown diving off the Degrassi building because he's like, 23 now, and still hangs around Degrassi all the time because he has nothing better to do.

whatever it takes (kids)  
i can see ya (woman)  
i know i can make it (kids choir)  
-Manny is shown wearing a thong!

i know (woman)  
i know (woman)  
ahhhhh (woman)  
i know i can make it through (kids choir)  
-Shondrella, the new, sassy 16 year old teen mom gets right up in the camera and says "MMhmm!"

do do do do do. do do do do 

It's Monday, the 45th day of school. The students are recovering from last weeks school rivalry fiasco against Degrasso community school, which is located in the back of Degrassi. It's where all of the vanished Degrassi students attend school after they suddenly stop cruising the halls of Degrassi.

Emma PETA, Manny and Sean glare hopelessly outside the window while Snake drones on about how hate is not the answer, and neither is violence or large batches of hash brownies. Because No one in Toronto likes marijuana. Everyone knows that smoking weed will cause you to beep up an interview with a prestigious university, one that is the "Harvard of the North."

"I'm so sick of those Degrasso jerks. Who they think they is? giiiiirl!" Shondrella exlaims, while her hands rest on her hips and she continues being a teen mom. 

"Shondrella's right. Terri, Kendra, Sully, Chris, that guy who used to be on the spirit squad, Emma's acting ability, and all of the other Degrassi failures are RUINING our Degrassi. The Degrassi we know and love!" Manny said, totally wearing a blue thong at the time.

Sean rolled his eyes. Emma PETA caught his little act of apathy, and nudged him in the ribs.

"Sean, how can you not care that Degrasso is attempting to destroy our school? Listen, Sean. You shot a guy once. Do you think you could do that again?"

Sean pursed his lips uncontentedly, lowered his eyebrows and grunted. (The grunting was accidental) Then he suddenly grabbed Emma PETA by the "Save the whales" T-shirt sleeves she was wearing and screamed, "EMMA PETA! The shooting was an accident! An accident! I am not going to accidentally shoot Degrasso students. I hate you! And I stole Snake's laptop..." 

Sean lets go of Emma's sleeves and mouths "I'm so sorry.." to Snake.

"Sean, that was 3 seasons ago." Snake laughed.

-MEANWHILE, EVIL PLOTTING IS GOING DOWN A FEW ACRES AWAY AT DEGRASSO COMMUNITY SCHOOL-

Kendra Mason, Spinner's evil fake sister, and asian girl, is surrounded by her fellow evils: Sully, that ugly dude all the girls wanted for some reason, Chester, another ugly homeboy that Manny liked, I think, but she likes everything with a penis, anyway, Emma from seasons 1 through 3 and Chris, that black guy.

"Fellow vanishers. As you know, Degrassi community school ostracized us. No one knows why. One day, I was happily dating Toby, talking about anime and selling carnation roses to Craig. The next, I woke up and found my butt here, in the dingy, morbid classrooms of Degrasso. This is an injustice. It's an outrage, and we need revenge. We, the vanishers, must overtake the Degrassi community. We'll kill just one Degrassi student. We'll kill someone that no one would EVER expect. And then we'll demand that Liberty let us do the morning announcements for the rest of the year. Then, we'll knock Liberty up again. Her child will be named Zolton, and he will be Degrassi class of 2024 class DICTATOR!"

The other vanishers stared blankly. Chris finally, somewhat inaudibly mumbled, "I thought we were just going to kill someone? What's this Zolton beep You been watching too much TV and beep

"Kids, I think it's a great idea."

The vanishers spin around, accidentally doing complete spins, and finding themselves facing the same direction they were facing before the mysterious voice praised their idea.

"Don't bother spinning around to discover who I am. It's me, Mr. Raditch, ostracized principal of Degrassi community school."  
Suddenly, he bolted away, and moments later, his voice was booming throughout the barely occupied halls of Degrasso.  
"I also hate Degrassi. I'd love to be part of your death scheme." He announced over the loudspeaker, for some reason, and then returned to the students.

"SORE-E, guys, I just like to hear my voice over the loudspeaker. Makes me feel important."

the kids stared at each other uncomfortably while Mr Raditch began softly moaning, and attempting to hide his tears.

Finally, that black guy broke the awkward moment by motioning the vanishers to follow him to his locker.

"I got the illest rap CDs, guys. Oh, and a gun. Canadian gangsta beep what, what!" He put on oversized headphones and started to make that annoying boombox noise with his mouth.

Moments later, after a boombox-off, truth or dare game (Mr Raditch picked truth, and revealed that he has indeed kissed a girl before- with tongue) and accidental school shooting when Chris gun went off and killed Rick again, the vanishers retreated to the cafeteria and met Sheila (another vanisher) for bowls of Sheila sauce before their death mission.

-that little "do do do do" music plays-

Emma PETA and Shondrella have just finished picketing outside the local Planned Parenthood

"Girl, we showed them good. Abortion is sick. Why doesn't manny ever join our protests?"

Emma PETA nervously shrugged and mumbled something about liberalism and pro-choice idiocy.

The two wave to their old Degrassi classmates, Paige the pseudo bi girl, Marco the totally gay guy, and Alex the lesbian (i think)

"Wassup guys? I'm Shondrella, the new sassy, 16 year old teen MOM. Yep- 16 and a mom. Deal wid it!" Shondrella exlaimed wildly while snapping her fingers.

"Uh..okay. Listen, Emma-  
"EMMA PETA!" Emma roared at the uninformed Alex  
"WHOA. Okay. Emma PETA. Listen. While Paige, Marco and I were sitting here for the 45th day in a row, clutching onto old Degrassi memories and watching the threesome video involving JT, Liberty and Toby continually on Winamp, we overhead Degrasso students discussing an act of violence they planned to unleash upon your school today!"

Suddenly, Manny, Craig, Peter Stone and that virgin girl Spinner dated appeared.

"OH MY GOD. We can't take ANOTHER school shooting. My God. What would Silent Bob and Jason Mewes THINK?" Emma PETA said.

While the other students faces remained sullen, despondent, depressed, unhappy, morbid, horny and discontent, Manny's brightened with each new second. Because an idea was forming, and it usually took a few minutes for an idea to form inside her head.

"OH MY GOD. If a school shooting DID happen...I bet Silent Bob and Jason Mewes would RETURN! And make a SEQUEL! Remember when they totally chose our school to shoot their video because, like, totally died here? And Jimmy got shot and crippled? And can't really have sex anymore? Because I tried to hook up with him that night and nothing happened if you know what I mean? basically im saying he couldn't sustain an erection? Well, if a school shooting happens again, my acting career, um..I mean..OUR acting careers will finally begin! We can be RICH!"

-do do do do do!-

AT DEGRASSO, death plans are unhatching. So far, they decided it would involve shooting someone in the back, and then having one of their own heroically take their own life by letting Sean Cameron think he shot them, when in fact he didnt. In reality, the shooter will have swallowed a bomb, and said bomb would be set to go off at the exact time Sean Cameron puts the gun against shooter's body.

"Guys, who will be the shooter?" Sheila asked, while making a batch of Sheila sauce.

"Well, I think we need to make this crucial decision in a fair, concise manner. I propose a game of Guess Who. We'll split up into teams. Sheila, Kendra, Chris and myself will be Team Saucy, in honor of Sheila's forgotten delicacy- her special sauce..mmm...and Team Craig will consist of everyone else here. I can't remember your names."

"Team Craig?" 

"Well, duh, Craig is the only reason we still have a show- I mean, school. Gosh, those antics! Remember when he kicked Joey's ass? What a hoot!" Raditch's former tears were replaced with bouts of laughter and more tears- tears of JOY!

Team Craig and Team Saucy doused their bodies with special sauce and feathers (in honor of Rick) and walked 55.5 feet straight into the halls of the school that shunned them.

"Guys, why did we split into teams? I thought we were going to play Guess Who?" Asked Emma from seasons 1-3.

"Not that I wanted to. That game is so sexist. Only 3 of the cards are women. What's up with that?"

"Forget the plan. let's just have Chester shoot. Chester sucks." Raditch whispered, as the two teams hid inside the janitor's closet.

RIIINGGG!

The classrooms empty as the students make their way through the hallways, preparing to spend a lot of time chatting, holding campaigns against condoms, having fights that involve rolling around on the ground without much punching and plenty of time to scrawl "Marco is gay" in the boy's bathroom.

Chester, still drenched in Sheila sauce and small white feathers, which Raditch plucked from a bunch of seagulls that hang out around his second job (Mcdonald's), flung open the janitor's closet door and pointed his gun at the first person he saw-

WHO WAS IT?

-do do do- 

JACK!

Jack, Spike and Snake's child, had the rare disorder that causes children on TV shows to rapidly age. Jack, who was a nonspeaking infant last season, now strolls the halls of Degrassi as a freshman.

Despite being 14, he still had the mentality of a 2 year old. Upon seeing this gun, Jack wailed uncontrollably, swayed his arms and accidentally knocked Chester out by smacking him across the head with his backpack. Okay, maybe it wasn't accidental. Chester's gun did go off, though. He shot Emma from seasons 1-3 accidentally as she was encouraging a group of Degrassi kids to join her environmental club.

-do do do do. do do. do do do-

An open letter to the students of Degrassi, from Emma PETA:

Dear fellow students,

Today, I was tragically shot to death. My former self, the girl who could act a few seasons ago, was innocently petitioning the youth of today to stop buying toilet seats made in Africa, when the unspeakable happened at Degrassi- again. A student was shot. That student was me. My past self is laid to rest eternally. No longer will my acting ability roam the desolate, lonely halls of Degrasso. The new, STD-ridden, horrible actor version of Emma is all that remains. I hope no one suffers this loss. We must forge on, friends. Degrasso was torn down hours ago, and all of those students were shipped off to some boarding school in Wyoming. Also, Silent Bob and Jason Mewes are filming their sequel here soon! I was cast as a human locker. wooo!

Sincerely, EMMA peta

-do do do do-


End file.
